Rednecks Come Up With The Strangest Things
You know how the old Jeff Foxworthy saying goes, “you might be a redneck if…”
Well, a surefire way to tell if you’re a bonafide redneck is if you’ve ever fixed anything with duct tape and considered it a permanent solution. Or if you’ve constructed inventions out of a random assortment of household objects or dead animals.
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While non-rednecks may laugh at such inventions, there are a few that are actually quite genius. I mean, who would have thought that you could construct a full-fledged security system out of nothing more than an air horn and a few strips of tape?
Let’s face it, when it comes to creating brilliant inventions, rednecks are the experts. In honor of these redneck Einsteins, we’ve put together a list of the top 18 greatest redneck inventions. These are so clever, that you’ll rush to patent them before someone else gets the chance!
1. Redneck Toilet
When people wake up in the morning, the first thing they do is get up and go to the bathroom. But if your toilet happens to be out of order, have no fear. Rednecks know that all you need is a large bucket and some toilet paper. For a true sense of luxury, add a pool noodle and you have a cushioned seat!
Photo Credit: imgur/mnm1969
2. Redneck Shower Head
After you’re done doing your business, then you’ll want to hop in the shower to help wake yourself up so you can tackle the day ahead. But if your shower head just isn’t up to par, you can fashion your own out of some simple household items. All you need is an empty can with some holes punched in it and as much duct tape and string as you need to attach it to your shower. Tada!
Photo Credit: Troublemakers
3. Redneck Car Seat
Once you’ve washed up, it’s time to jump in your car and head out to wherever you need to go. But drats, you’re missing your car seat! No need to worry, just grab the nearest lawn chair, put it in there, and you’re ready to go. Plus the multiple colors make it much more stylish than those boring, plain-colored seats your car came with.
Photo Credit: Everyday Family
4. Redneck Limo
If you like living in redneck luxury, then we’re sure you don’t want to drive yourself around from place to place. Instead, you can have the redneck limo stop by and pick you up. You’ll certainly turn a lot of heads riding down the street in this baby!
Photo Credit: reddit/mangletron
5. Redneck Seat Belt
No matter how you chose to travel, make sure that you fasten your seatbelt before you go! Or, if you lost part of your seat belt for some reason, then be sure you clip it to the handy dandy chain you put in there to secure everything.
Photo Credit: The Chive
6. Redneck Snow Plow
So you want to drive somewhere, but there’s several inches of snow in your driveway and on the road. There’s an easy solution for that! Get a trusty pickup truck and tie a couple of large snow shovels to the front and you’re all set. You can drive anywhere you please, and maybe even make a buck or two plowing your neighbors’ driveways!
Photo Credit: The Chive
7. Redneck Pontoon Boat
Once the weather warms up, you’ll be itching to hit the lake. But if you don’t want to splurge on a pontoon boat, that’s perfectly understandable, because those things can be expensive. Still, that doesn’t mean you should miss out on a prime boating experience. If you want the pontoon experience for a much more reasonable price, get an old picnic table and a motor and you’ve got everything you need!
Photo Credit: reddit/Jtree25
8. Redneck House Boat
Again, if you’re someone who prefers to travel in style, then we recommend you fashion a house boat for your boating pleasure. Just find that old trailer or RV you have collecting dust, put it on something that floats, and take it out for a ride. It’s that simple!
Photo Credit: imgur/recre8
9. Redneck Paddle
Some people like to hit the lake in hopes of catching a big fish or two. If that’s the case, then a good old fashioned fishing boat is probably the best means of transportation. But oh shoot, you left your paddle at home! Don’t worry, there’s a solution to such a problem. Just grab a nearby pitchfork and a license plate and you’ll be moving through the lake in no time.
Photo Credit: imgur/HereCometheBeats
10. Redneck Zipper Pouch
If you want to bring your fishing tackle along with you put don’t want to bring your entire tackle box, there’s a redneck solution for that. All you need is one squirrel hide, a zipper, and some minor sewing skills. These pouches are also handy for transporting school supplies, so make sure you make plenty of them for your kiddos before they head back to school in the fall!
Photo Credit: Thumbpress
11. Redneck Hot Tub
After a long day of boating out on the lake, you’ll want to come home and unwind. If you aren’t tired of the water quite yet, then you’ll probably enjoy a dip in a nice, warm hot tub. But like pontoon boats, hot tubs can come with quite the price tag. You can fashion a much cheaper version with a simple blow up pool, a few hoses, and a fire pit (contained in a trash can of course.)
Photo Credit: Sarcastic Sarcasams
12. Redneck Doorbell
If you happened to stop by your buddy’s house to hang out in their hot tub, then you’ll want to “ring” the doorbell when you arrive. Those darn things seem to break all the time, so if you have a smart friend, he’s likely created a genius redneck solution. The go-to doorbell replacement? An empty water bottle with a few small rocks inside!
Photo Credit: Sarcastic Sarcasams
13. Redneck Security System
If your buddy is all about keeping his home safe, then he’s likely got one of these things installed. Don’t be worried if you set it off when you walk in, unless that is, your buddy isn’t expecting you. In which case, you best prepare to see some redneck crazy happen!
Photo Credit: imgur/GMYB
14. Redneck Beer Can Chute
After you’ve navigated your way past your buddy’s security system, the two of you will likely want to enjoy a good cold one together. As you finish off the last drops and prepare to head back out into the yard, be sure you recycle by throwing your can down the convenient chute your buddy hitched up in the kitchen.
Photo Credit: Runt
15. Redneck Rocking Chair
After you grab another beer, you and your buddy will likely want to head outside and relax on the front porch. Everyone knows that no front porch would be complete without a rocking chair, and you’re sure to find plenty at any true redneck’s house. Although they may not be the same rocking chairs you see outside of Cracker Barrel, a redneck rocking chair serves the same purpose!
Photo Credit: The Chive
16. Redneck Swing
If all of the rocking chairs are taken, then you may want to venture your way over to your buddy’s brand new swing. But who needs to spend money on a swing at the store when you can just create one out of an old car or truck. It’s much more spacious anyway!
Photo Credit: The Chive
17. Redneck Rotisserie
The best way to end an eventful day is to chow down on some delicious, home-cooked food. We’ve all seen those rotisseries in grocery store delis, and know how they cook chicken to absolute perfection. You deserve to have the same kind of culinary experience in your own backyard! Luckily, rednecks have come up with a solution for a homemade rotisserie powerful enough to cook a whole hog.
Photo Credit: imgur/cushdog95
18. Redneck Campfire Prongs
After you enjoy your main course, you’re certain to want dessert. Most of the time, those that don’t have campfire prongs handy resort to using sticks to roast a marshmallow or two. But that’s the problem, you can only make a few marshmallows at time. Instead of using sticks, grab your trusty garden rake, stick a marshmallow on each prong, and put your graham crackers and chocolate on the flat part of the rake. That way you can cook multiple marshmallows and get your chocolate all melty at the same time.
Photo Credit: Odometer
When it comes to DIY solutions for any situation, rednecks rule. Which redneck invention was your favorite? Have you tried any of these yourself?